Sometimes it hurts to spend even an hour inside of my own head, with my own thoughts for company. There are times, moments in life, fears, worries, and sometimes random thoughts that just spin around and around in my head to the point of obsession. And, no matter how hard I try, I just can't seem to make them stop.

Over the last two days my mind has been completely obsessed with the fact that I don't have a working smoke alarm in my unit. Logically I know that it hasn't worked since I first moved in and I've been fine without it. But my brain has just turned it into something to panic about, something to obsess about.

Last night, for example, my thought process was; "my smoke alarm doesn't work. Oh my gosh. What happens if there's a fire? I'll die because there's no battery in my smoke alarm. I put a battery in it, but it still didn't work, so that means it's broken, so that means that if there's a fire I'm not going to wake up too late to escape the flames and I'll burn to death."

It was over and over again, like a cracked record just playing the one piece of a song. I wanted it to stop, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't distract my brain for long enough to let it go. It kept me awake for hours until I just collapsed into sleep. I woke up feeling absolutely exhausted and fuzzy brained. And I know that I won't be comfortable until I've brought myself a new smoke alarm, installed it and tested it out to make sure that it works. It'll play in my head until then.

The thing is I rang my mum to see if she had a spare one that I could have, or if she could buy me one and I could pay her back and she just didn't understand why it was such a pressing matter, and I couldn't explain it to her. How can you explain it?

All I know is that it's been happening since I was little, it doesn't seem to happen to most people and it's a little strange and more than a little frustrating. Sometimes my brain isn't a healthy place to live.

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